So here is a little bedtime story before I punch my card for a six hour and thirteen minute peaceful vacation.  This evening upon returning home from our mid week service @ the Gathering I decided I would like to become Rachel Ray.  So, in order to achieve this goal of mine I made my way to the kitchen, retrieved some turkey, celery, diced tomatoes, beans, carrots, sweet peppers, onions, green peppers, garlic, H2O and some jalapenos from el refrigorator.  I began to chop and dice, boil and brew and about 30 minutes later I had created a pretty good smellin’ pot of stew or something. Following the clean-up of the kitchen I decided it was time to get cleaned up for the evening, so I turned down the chili/stew/soup creation to a slow simmer and made my way upstairs.  Prescisely five minutes later an eardrum shattering shrek rang out from the upstairs shower followed by some punching of the walls and stomping of the feet.  My wonderful wife Rachel, being the loving caring woman that she is inquired to see what was the matter, as she arrived she was accompanied by some nervous laughter and smart-alick comments.  After she noticed there was no blood, nothing broken and had enough time to calm down her He-Hawin’ I was eventually able to explain what the crap was going on. You see after I had chopped up that last jalapeno, I for some strange reason I did not deem it nessisary for me to wash my hands.  So as I proceeded to rinse off my face in the shower, my eyeballs instantly caught fire along with my cheeks, nose and lips, thus resulting in the screaming, kicking, punching and a face that was redder than a baboons posterior.  After about ten minutes of complaining and a bottle and a half of contact solution I was able to open my jalapeno scorched eyes and regain my vision only to see my lovely wife crying in laughter on the floor trying not to wet herself.So….basically I have learned this…jalapenos are hot, especially when rubbed in your eyes.outie

What a great country it is that we live in, I mean think about it, I just got two days vacation from work so I could hang out at my house with my wife and family, stuff my face with all kinds of meats, veggies, casseroles, cakes and pies and watch the Cowboys put a old fashioned butt whippin’ on the J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets! Oh yes, that’s right I live in America, where eating gargantious amounts of food is not only a national holiday, but it is now a professional sport, with actual contests, trophies and little first place ribbons.  Oh America how I love thee. Thanksgiving is a great day.  However, I must say that as I sat around thinking about the fact that there were going to be 12 bodies in our little Mazda Miata sized apartment all day, I was honestly a tad bit overwhelmed at first, but I would not have had it any other way.  Seriously, Rachel and I are so blessed to have family and friends who love us and actually want to hang out with us during the holiday season.  A little side note, Rachel Jane can cook a mean turkey and bake up a killer sweet potato casserole, as for myself, I was told I make a pretty stellar vegetable tray….its my specialty. Looking beyond the mounds of food, the holidays are truly the time of the year to break out the F words….Family, Friends and Fellowship.  I am so grateful for the new traditions and memories that Rachel and I have had a chance to develop during our first run through the Thanksgiving season together, and I cannot wait to start sharing these traditions with our little mini-me, well I guess its a mini-us if you want to get technical, anyways all I’m trying to say is that next year with a kid it will be pretty cool. We forgot the cranberry sauce this Thanksgiving so I leave you with this….Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them, a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.  Next year I will use this method to pick out our turkey.

Can someone please explain to me what it is about women and football that just makes a man want to……. I don’t know…set his house on fire!  Maybe its just me, or maybe its just the women in my family I watch football with, but as soon as a Dallas Cowboys game comes on in my house or wherever I may be watching the game, its like the soul of PeeWee Herman enters the female body and for the next three and a half hours you become the most goofy sarcastic creatures on the face of planet earth.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love all the women in my family, and I had an awesome time with them this past weekend, but come on ladies cut me some slack.  Look, I don’t know why I talk to the TV, I don’t know why I predict every penalty when the flag is thrown and No, I don’t know why I think, that if for some strange reason I don’t watch the next play the outcome will miraculously be any different than if I would just man up and watch it.  I do however know that the sudden urge to start talking 10,000 miles an hour at kickoff and constant giggling along with oh so hilarious comment, “You know what Chuck, I bet you would be a much better coach for the Cowboys, you should try out next year”, doesn’t help anything.  And you know what ladies, maybe my attitude does fluctuate depending on how the Cowboys are playing at that particular time in the game, but that’s because I’m a man, and a man’s gotta take some pride in his team, a mans gotta yell at the TV to motivate his players, a mans gotta argue with the ref six states away to defend his team and yes at the end of a game a mans gotta jump up and yell HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS!!!!  So, ladies y’all better hope and pray all my screamin’ and yellin’ propels Dallas to another victory or else you are in for a long night of whiny football excuses and no Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.Rachel, Cheyenne, and Mom I love you guys and wouldn’t trade ya for the world.  Also the terms “Ladies” “Women or Woman” were not used in a derogatory way at any point during this post and do not reflect the views and ideas of the male species.one

So tonight as I sat up and watched an episode of Hannah Montana along with my wife Rachel who was reading her new book “Pregnancy Sucks”, I was looking through some pictures of mine and came across this one.  As I sat and looked at the beauty of this picture all I could think about was how big my God is, and how beautiful His creations are.  I mean I was sitting on my couch next to my beautiful wife who has a real life baby growing inside her body as I speak (or type).  I mean it doesn’t get any more amazingly beautiful than that.  As I sat there looking at pictures of the beauty that is Cade’s Cove, it just reminded me of how small I actually am in this world.  Everyday as I drive to the Church I am surrounded by the incredible Smoky Mountains, and as I go through my days, everywhere I look, I am constantly reminded that my God absolutely HUGE and all He has designed is pure beauty.out 

To say this past week was jammed packed and busy would be a tad bit of an understatement, but as I reflect on it, every hour that was spent was well worth it.  On Halloween night we saw somewhere between 700 and 1,000 people on the church campus for our annual Trunk or Treat here at the Gathering, and there is no way in the world we could have pulled that off without all the help from the many volunteers that dedicated their time to assist us.  I cannot thank you all enough, you guys are great.  Upon this eventful evening I discovered many important things that made a lasting impression on my life. First, I should have never ever been forced to pitch a baseball in a real game during my college career, and never again will I let it happen.  As if the 10 hit batsmen, 3 home-runs, 2 triples, 5 doubles, 7 walks, 1 strikeout and an ERA (Average amount of runs given up per 9 innings) somewhere in the neighborhood of 97 wasn’t a good enough indication, the 62mph that flashed up on the speed pitch in front of all the kids didn’t help anything.  For my defense I did break the 70mph mark but it took a running start from halfway down the parking lot. Next, babies are cute on Halloween, and any other day for that matter, even if they’re dressed up like skunks, onions or string peas.  Next year I have to come up with something really good for my kid, maybe an aardvark or possibly a prune,  I haven’t really decided yet.  Man, I cannot wait to be a daddy, I hope my kid likes me.Furthermore, if I am ever in the market for a car with wood-panel siding and sails, I know who to call.  The Podster got my vote for the coolest trunk/car, as well as the motor-trend award for sweetest new pirate concept car.Lastly, cake walks are awesome. period.On top of Trunk or Treat, and getting everything painted and ready for the weekend service, I got to witness one of the greatest things our Lord has allowed us to do here at the Gathering.  This past week we began Christmas at the Gathering, our goal was to register 500 children and provide them with a new bike, new winter coat, games and a Christmas dinner basket for them and their family.  Registration was intended to go through this week but we had over 1,500 children register in the first 5 days.  It is amazing that we were planning on doing this for 500 kids, and even more amazing that the Lord blessed us enough to give to all of the 1,500 children that registered.  Next year we are planning on doing Christmas at the Gathering on a whole new level and pray that God blesses these children and their families. It is so great to be a part of a Church that gets in the community and gets their hands dirty doing some work and giving back.  I just thank everyone who jumped in this past week and made it what it was, y’all are the best.out